My GM Hates Me!

“They only give me problems! We never win, even if we defeat the monster. Everyone I meet in the game is an enemy. I view my GM as someone to beat. My GM hates me!” 

Have you ever thought or even uttered those words? You are not alone! But those thoughts are not necessarily true to life. As a GM, one of my players has told me, “I see you as the person to beat whenever we play games.” Ouch. This statement struck me deeply. A friend and fellow GM heard from their player, “You are always out to get me. You ruin everything.”

Between the two of us, we were devastated. Here’s what you, as a player, need to know about your GM.

  1. Your GM is human. That means we make mistakes and forget the rules. It also means we get to feel all the feelings. If you cast Zone of Truth on city council leaders, we will feel the frustration those leaders feel. In our frustration, we may retaliate and cast a spell upon you as well. Should that happen? Maybe not. But we are creating a world for you to play in and within that world, when people get frustrated, they will react. 
  2. You are a hero, but your PC is not the only hero of the story. Many GMs keep the world moving outside of your group. The Icons can use any of their followers and some of those followers may be better than your PC. NPCs have goals and weaknesses, but they also have strengths. Sometimes your PC is not the smartest person in the room. When that happens, as a player, it is up to you to come up with a creative solution. In some sessions that means a clever bargain and in other sessions, that might mean all you can do is run. 
  3. If all NPCs you are meeting are enemies, take a look at your attitudes. The GM should be creating opportunities for players to find allies and story hooks. They should be encouraging you to use your background and one unique things to conjure up you own side characters and friends. As stated above, your GM will feel the feelings of the NPCs. If you are treating each NPC as an enemy, that is what they will become. In a game of mine, a player talked about her estranged relationship with her father. Another player then took it upon themselves to charm and use Suggestion on the father so the party would get what they wanted. The party was furious when they were barred from returning to the fortress ever again. 
  4. Problems make better stories. Any story that doesn’t have conflict loses meaning. Life has difficulties, which if you are able to overcome, lead you to feel the sweet taste of victory. We remember the moments inevitable doom was averted. No problems mean no victories. 
  5. You need to have a discussion with your GM. This should happen one-on-one and away from the table. Grab a coffee with them and voice your concerns or irritations. Hopefully, your GM will address the concerns you have and together, you will come up with a creative solution. It is important through this process that you keep an open mind. You will need to be able to own up to your own behavior at the table and learn to change.

Role-playing games are great spaces to tell stories with your friends. They are also spaces to discover skills and language of diplomacy and problem-solving. Your GM wants to tell a story with you. They don’t hate you. 

Written by Becca

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